After review we must decline this application. If you state you don't know if you can go back and fix the application then that shows your full effort wasn't put forth into revising it. There are still run-on sentences, and many are difficult to parse or are redundant.

Touhou is an applicable canon and this has no bearing on our decision. We feel like this application was not thoroughly revised.

You are welcome to try again in 1 month with Alice or try immediately with a different character.